“Relationships fail because people take their own insecurities and try and twist them into their partners flaws” – Baylor Barbee
A wonderful symbolic image for projection is the porcupine. The porcupine, when it feels under threat it shoots out a quill that is sharp and piercing. This is similar to what a narcissist does when they feel under threat and need to cover their tracks or place the blame else where.
Projection is a term that was first coined by Sigmund Freud. It is a defence mechanism whereby a person is unwilling to accept their shortcomings, wrong doings, undesirable thoughts and emotions and they shift the blame on to those people around them. Dr Martinez-Lewi a clinical expert in Narcissistic Personalities, believes that narcissistic projections are mostly psychologically abusive. The narcissist cannot acknowledge their own flaws and so they project these on to others in a painful and cruel manner.
J.B. Snow in her book Projection of the Narcissist says “Narcissistic abuse included projecting and deflecting negative and harsh words towards others who are close to the narcissist to inflict pain or emotion where the narcissist was previously suppressing the thoughts.”
J.B. Snow goes on to say the following, “Projection and deflecting has many purposes to the narcissist. He projects and deflects the unwanted parts of himself on to the other person who is close to him. He projects and deflects as away to rid himself of his unwanted parts. He projects and deflects in a primitive effort to control the other persons mind and body.”
The narcissist believes that they are never wrong, are entitled and that they are in total control of their realities, their ego’s are so fragile that the force of their projections can be hurtful, disorientating and humiliating. Narcissists know the difference between right and wrong but they love to play the blame shifting games which leave you confused, doubting yourself and hurt. If you are on the receiving end of narcissistic projections you may suffer from anxiety as the reasons for the projections are often so ridiculous and irrational. According to Dr George Simon, a manipulation expert, it is important not to project your own value system when dealing with abusive people as this is only going to result in further abuse as they do not live by the same values as you do.
Projection is an insidious form of control and they know exactly what they are doing! So be wary of the porcupine!
Remember, knowledge gives you acceptance, and knowledge and acceptance gives you power!
The information included in this guide is for informational purpose only.
It is not intended to be used as a substitute for diagnosis or treatment of any illness.